New Year, New Possibilities
As we step into the fresh canvas of January, a new year is filled with possibilities and potential. Between the holiday reflections and the weight of current events on our minds and collective psyche, I am grateful for this moment to share thoughts with you in this January blog.
January symbolizes new beginnings, a time to embark on the year’s journey with renewed energy and hope. Have you been or begun engaging in something that truly resonates with your passion? Can you feel the vitality of being on this incredible journey we call life?
Or does the New Year feel like another turn of the calendar page?
Perhaps you find yourself in a situation, a family, or a relationship that doesn’t align with your vision, experiences, hopes, and dreams. This is a moment to reflect on priorities, consider what can be changed, and identify what needs to be let go.
For those grappling with a mother wound, answering these questions can be particularly challenging. The silent echoes of beliefs such as “I am alone,” “I’m not enough,” or “I’m not wanted” can sabotage our intentions, dreams, and opportunities.
How does this happen? What makes a wound a “mother wound”?
A maternal presence often inflicts it, but it can happen when a supposedly supportive, nurturing figure caring for a young child misuses their authority, intentionally or not.
As I write this, some examples from my work as an art and trauma therapist come to mind.
1. The Story of a Boy’s Unheard Voice: A client, a little boy pushed to conform to his mother’s wish for a compliant little girl, learned to hide his natural inclinations. Redirected from outdoor play to indoor coloring, he internalized the message that his desires were wrong. The suppression of his true nature led to confusion, anxiety, and a sense of powerlessness in his adult life.
2. The Struggle with Self-Perception: Another client, subjected to constant attacks on her appearance by her mother, internalized a belief that she didn’t matter and that it was dangerous to get close. Convinced of her physical flaws, she resorted to self-harm to “come back to reality” after receiving praise. Her father’s abusive behavior reinforced a message that women were meant to be seen and not heard.
These beliefs become ingrained in our nervous system and neural networks, but change is possible. Dr. Wayne Dyer’s words resonate here: “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
To change our perspective, we need new lenses, and to get those lenses, we need new inner experiences. Overcoming the Mother Wound is a journey that requires:
1. Supportive Community: Surround yourself with people who believe in you.
2. Passion and Connection: Engage in something you love – art, music, a hobby, nature, pets, sports.
3. Understanding Boundaries: Differentiate what is in your control and what is not.
4. Trust in Greater Forces: Belief in forces greater than yourself supporting you and your journey.
Beyond the structure provided by programs like “Overcoming the Mother Wound,” these elements contribute to transformative change. As you navigate this new year, you can find the strength to embrace new perspectives, release old wounds, and step into a future filled with self-discovery and healing.
Here’s to a year of growth, resilience, and unwavering belief in your journey.
LCSW-R, LCAT, ATR-BC, PsyA, EDMR, SEP
PS: Our Holiday Special has ended, but you can still enroll in the OCMW Evergreen Course and Membership Bundle at a great price. Learn more here.