The Invisible Struggles: How the Mother Wound Affects High-Functioning Adults
Welcome to February, a month that often echoes with the whispers of love. In the spirit of understanding and healing, this month’s blog delves into a crucial but often overlooked aspect of the Mother Wound—its impact on high-functioning adults.
I often discuss how this wound shapes the experiences of women, men, and children, but what about those navigating the complex worlds of business, professions, and side hustles?
The Mother Wound has many dimensions. While I detail six major types in my workshops, courses, and my upcoming book, I haven’t extensively explored the many ways these wounds manifest in the lives of high-functioning adults.
1. The Profound Cut of Neglect and Abuse:
Some Mother Wounds are marked by extreme neglect and physical abuse, leaving scars that cut deep and wide. For business owners and professionals, this might manifest in challenges that require a triage approach before emotional healing can even be considered. With adequate support and resources, transformative insights can emerge, often finding expression in creative forms of art.
2. Self-Doubt as a Lingering Scar:
Another form of Mother Wound gives rise to self-doubt. When the maternal relationship is overly controlling, dictating the child’s actions and expressing disappointment for perceived imperfections, it breeds a sense of inadequacy. This can significantly affect those who are shy, introverted, or highly sensitive, influencing their confidence and decision-making in the professional realm.
3. Ambitions Clouded by Teasing and Ridicule:
A Mother Wound that involves teasing, ridicule, and feelings of inadequacy can lead to emotions retreating and becoming less accessible. This may result in a life marked by self-protection, an aversion to risk, or, conversely, a recklessness that throws caution to the wind. The scars of these wounds shape one’s approach to ambition and achievement.
4. Resilience Shaped by Overlooking:
Being overlooked or only receiving attention through criticism and punishment leaves a lasting impact on a person’s ability to gauge their efforts. If an internal gauge is not set through attunement, care, and love but instead is met with mental illness, poor resources, or neglect, a high-functioning adult may struggle to determine when a vital task is complete or if it’s enough. They may work harder and harder, thinking the more they do, the more they will one day be seen. Overlooking themselves in the process.
5. Difficulty Embracing the Positive:
An active or tender Mother Wound makes accepting and internalizing positive experiences challenging. Lingering beliefs such as “I will get in trouble” or “I don’t deserve to feel good” may not always be consciously articulated, but they underpin a sense of fear and discomfort beneath the surface of success.
6. The Imposter Phenomenon:
Many individuals with Mother Wounds may feel like impostors waiting for the inevitable downfall. Without ongoing support through therapy, coaching, faith, or meaningful connections, the belief in being an imposter can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s important to recognize that many of these wounds operate behind closed doors, subtly and sometimes masked, making them easy to miss by those in the individual’s social and professional circles.
Conclusion:
Overcoming and healing from these wounds require ongoing support and a willingness to explore beyond comfort zones. The journey may surprise individuals to find their untapped abilities and successes more available than expected. Negative self-beliefs can persist without this support, potentially leading to undesired consequences and self-fulfilling prophecies.
In February, a month often associated with matters of the heart, let’s bring awareness to these hidden struggles and foster a culture of empathy, understanding, and healing.
Wishing you strength and resilience on your journey,
Sincerely,
Mari Grande
LCSW-R, LCAT, ATR-BC, PsyA, EDMR, SEP
